Originally written 14/02/2014
I hate these all over emotions though mine are more on the depressed to anxious to doubting to excitement. One moment I cannot wait to try again as I have almost a yearning to be pregnant and have another baby, which I didn't really feel with any of my prenancies. It is almost the feeling that I have to get pregnant now or we may not have a chance again. Almost that deeo down feeling that you have to listen to. But then I feel that maybe we aren't ready for a second and how will our dd be. But then I go back to how I felt when they couldn't find the heartbeat for Lily Grace and my chest just constricts as I thought everything was fine and instead of telling my mom while she visited that we were expecting I had to tell her she had to watch dd longer as I miscarried and needed an amnio and winrho shot.
I am just plodding along in my days and I hate it. I hate that I am not that engaged with my family and that I am slacking on my chores. Even at work after a certain amount of time I cannot concentrate which I hate because I take my job seriously.
I hate that I can hear the story of that poor little boy who died feom abuse/starvation under his grandparents custody while I can't cry for my Lily Grace.
I hate that I am tired all the time and my husband is being effected by it.
I just can't stand it
I hate these all over emotions though mine are more on the depressed to anxious to doubting to excitement. One moment I cannot wait to try again as I have almost a yearning to be pregnant and have another baby, which I didn't really feel with any of my prenancies. It is almost the feeling that I have to get pregnant now or we may not have a chance again. Almost that deeo down feeling that you have to listen to. But then I feel that maybe we aren't ready for a second and how will our dd be. But then I go back to how I felt when they couldn't find the heartbeat for Lily Grace and my chest just constricts as I thought everything was fine and instead of telling my mom while she visited that we were expecting I had to tell her she had to watch dd longer as I miscarried and needed an amnio and winrho shot.
I am just plodding along in my days and I hate it. I hate that I am not that engaged with my family and that I am slacking on my chores. Even at work after a certain amount of time I cannot concentrate which I hate because I take my job seriously.
I hate that I can hear the story of that poor little boy who died feom abuse/starvation under his grandparents custody while I can't cry for my Lily Grace.
I hate that I am tired all the time and my husband is being effected by it.
I just can't stand it