Originally written 11/02/2014
How am I doing? It all depends on the day, hour, minute you ask me. The days are so long lately and I just want them to end. I am having some better up moods but still mostly down though I am more frustrated and anger easily though again try and not show it as I know it isn't fair to the people. Also bitter though I am not just bitter to pregnant people I am feeling it against (most of the time), but to anyone who is happy and then I hate myself for it. Still haven't really cried yet.
Not sleeping well which doesn't help either. Always tired. Hoping it is due to period and maybe the sadness. Also still having trouble concentrating which I can see is frustrating hub and hear it when I need to ask customers multiple times for their phone numbers on calls (work in a call center).
One plus lately is my daughter is giving me a little more happiness then before though still look at her and have moments of sadness. It is nice though seeing hub with her more lately though I feel bad as I don't really feel like doing much of anything
I still haven't done the writing of my feelings daily in a journal like the social worker asked (maybe I should hand write this out as hand writing things relaxes me) but I have been thinking more and more about writing a letter to Lily Grace. I have come to the decision that I am going to write a letter to each of our angels as I haven't and hub has suggested we get balloons and put the letters in them and release them. I think that will be nice.
My next appointment is suppose to be Thursday but we are suppose to get a big storm so I may reschedule for next week
How am I doing? It all depends on the day, hour, minute you ask me. The days are so long lately and I just want them to end. I am having some better up moods but still mostly down though I am more frustrated and anger easily though again try and not show it as I know it isn't fair to the people. Also bitter though I am not just bitter to pregnant people I am feeling it against (most of the time), but to anyone who is happy and then I hate myself for it. Still haven't really cried yet.
Not sleeping well which doesn't help either. Always tired. Hoping it is due to period and maybe the sadness. Also still having trouble concentrating which I can see is frustrating hub and hear it when I need to ask customers multiple times for their phone numbers on calls (work in a call center).
One plus lately is my daughter is giving me a little more happiness then before though still look at her and have moments of sadness. It is nice though seeing hub with her more lately though I feel bad as I don't really feel like doing much of anything
I still haven't done the writing of my feelings daily in a journal like the social worker asked (maybe I should hand write this out as hand writing things relaxes me) but I have been thinking more and more about writing a letter to Lily Grace. I have come to the decision that I am going to write a letter to each of our angels as I haven't and hub has suggested we get balloons and put the letters in them and release them. I think that will be nice.
My next appointment is suppose to be Thursday but we are suppose to get a big storm so I may reschedule for next week