My emotions are everywhere lately.
I feel angry and bitter that others are pregnant then guilt. I am angry that it is so easy for people and they have no idea how it feels to have the innocence of your first pregnancy be robbed from you and all they can see I that they are tired and feel sick and feel fat and have stretch marks. Those stretch marks are the marks of a beautiful journey.
Then I feel really guilty because I have a beautiful, caring daughter who gave us hope we could and do have a family (therefore her name) and some people are not as lucky as us.
I feel like this is all a dream and I really am still pregnant and 19wks2ds like I should be.
Then I am sad (or more appropriately depressed) that I am not when I should be.
Still not sleeping well so took today off and hope my work won't make a big deal of me missing work though when I see my social worker on Thursday I will get a note though don't know what it should say.
Then I tried to move my follow up appointment that is March 3 to the Thursday that week as that is my day off and when I got a call back first I hear the lady chatting and laughing then when I say hello she says she is calling from my doctor office and that my doctor is very important and that there is a long wait to see her and she is really busy and that they cannot move my appointment. Well maybe if they booked it when she told them too we wouldn't have this issue and I would have been seen 6 weeks post D&C and not 8 weeks and as I called Feb. 13 to move it and thought almost 3 weeks was enough. I know she is busy but seriously? Who talks to people like that. Even when I am being yelled at by a customer on the phone I am not condescending like that or even be heard talking to coworkers like that I would be written up. Bad enough it took. I am a grown women for f*cks sake and my doctor will hear about it and so will my social worker