An example of this, at least for me, is my pregnancy and labour. My pregnancy, even the one with my daughter, were event free and normal for as much as possible after multiple losses. Though all my brain can remember are the scared, guilt, anxious and jealous emotions I had while pregnant. Not the happy and relief ones I had a lot. With my labour I did it this time without drugs, not that I had a choice, and it was super quick and told I did very well. Again all I can remember is the upset feelings.
It is like your brain keeps you in this limbo of guilt. Guilt that you didn't do one thing or another. Frustration at how you dealt with something.
Now I am thinking everyday of having a third child, but feel guilty about it. Like it would be unfair to my two current kids, but feel like I should have much more kids which sounds selfish. It just feels like something is unfinished and I am not sure what it is or something I should be doing.
Why do our brains have to be so complicated?