Was totally psycho today. I hate these up and downs. I couldn't stand my husband touching me this afternoon and freaked on him. Could be the feeling tired all the time as not sleeping well again due to daughter and just not feeling rested. I hope to be to normal soon and if this is PMS it sucks. Usually I am not moody for PMS but then again this will be my first cycle since the miscarriage in Jan and haven't felt normal since Oct.
Oh and punishing myself by trying to figure out how far along I should be now.
I just saw my counselor today and she feels I am still grieving and slightly depressed (I keep taking 1-2 days off because I just can't deal and get out of bed) but she wants to stay away from meds still as I want to get pregnant again and also the side effects are greater then the benefits for me right now.
I am more consistently up but still have very bad days. I just need to keep up my exercising (walking to and from work), do my daily journal writing, and get enough sleep. Also the change of weather may help as I want to start taking daughter out more now.
Also I have to finish my letters to our angels so we can release them in balloons. Maybe we will do that on Lily Grace's due date.
She also said 3 months isn't actually a lot of time and probably that first month I was off I was still in shock so now I am more able to deal with it and that is why it almost feels like the loss was only 2 months ago. Also she can understand especially with some issues i am having with coworkers for work and not needing the extra stress when still trying to deal with the loss of Lily Grace.
She also thinks I still need to have a good cry to try and let some of the stress out, but it is hard to cry when you feel like you physically can't because if you do you won't stop.